Over the past several months, I’ve experienced a string of heartbreaking losses — my father in January, my brothers in Christ Joe, Felix, Charles, and 2 years ago Rory, and even friends and neighbors who have lost their loved ones. Each story carried with it a familiar ache: the what ifs.

 

• What if I had called sooner?
• What if I had gone to the appointment?
• What if I had just done more?

 

 

Those thoughts can tear at our hearts. We feel we should’ve done something different — been there, made that call, noticed the signs. But here’s the truth: no matter how much we do, when someone we love is gone, it will never feel like it was enough. You always want one more hug, one more moment, one more day.

 

But we are not called to live chained to regret. We are called to live present — with intention, love, and grace.

 

The Word says in Romans 8:1,

 

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

 

That includes the condemnation we place on ourselves.

 

Instead of living in regret, let us learn. Let us be reminded to call when we feel the tug. To visit when the Spirit nudges us. To say “I love you” and give that hug without delay. But we must also release the guilt that comes when life takes its course, and we weren’t able to be everywhere or do everything.

 

Jesus didn’t call us to live in fear of death, but in the freedom of His resurrection.

 

2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us,

 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

 

Mourning is part of life — but mourning in Christ is not about despair; it’s about longing for reunion. We don’t grieve without hope, because we know this separation is temporary for those who are in Him.

 

So today, remember this:

We may not be perfect, but we can be present.

We may not always get it right, but we can get better.

We may fall, but we rise again — stronger, wiser, more loving.

 

Because the Christian walk isn’t about flawless performance — it’s about faithful progress.

Just like learning to ride a skateboard: you fall, you bleed, you get up. And every time, you fall a little less, and ride a little stronger.

 

Let’s keep walking. Let’s keep loving. Let’s stop waiting to say the things that matter.

 

Because while we can’t change the past… we can love better today.

 

-Rev Carlos Figueroa